You're In, You're Out
by slashhack
Summary: Iruka hates his obnoxious silver hair and his stupid sexy ass. April Fool's surprise for Kakairu's Crossover Day Challenge. Very random, also contains LOTS OF CAPS.


Kakairu Crossover Day - wherein we chuck Iruka and Kakashi into a different fandom, and you try to guess it. I feel that this one is fairly obvious. Apologies for the surfeit of ALLCAPS and commas- but this IS train-of-thought, so…

**You're In (You're Out)**

Iruka hates him, HATES him, hates his mismatched eyes and his smug superiority, the smirk that would surely be splashed ALL ACROSS his stupid face, if Iruka could SEE his face, but the asshole has decided his personal fashion proclamation to the world is a MASK. WHO WEARS A MASK. Honestly, who goes day to day, to the mall, to the grocery store, to a club, who WALKS DOWN THE STREET in a mask? Kakashi does. GOD Iruka hates Kakashi. KAKASHI. What a joke, that CANNOT be his real name, Iruka is Japanese and he sometimes thinks the asshole came up with it SPECIFICALLY to piss him off, which is impossible, because it's the name he used in his interview before he even MET Iruka. The name splashed all across his portfolio, and on his custom tags, along with a henohenomoheji (which, admittedly, is kind of cute.)

BUT THAT IS THE PROBLEM. Iruka does not want to think his stupid henohenomoheji is cute. He does not want to think anything remotely associated with that ridiculous silver-haired jerk is cute. Kakashi is not cute. NOT CUTE, and the way he is leaning across the cutting table is not even a little sexy, even though he PAINTS those jeans on, sweet lord, and the way he JUST STOLE IRUKA'S ZIPPER is not endearing. AT ALL. The way he always manages to be in front of the camera is maddening. The way he leaves 'Hustler' and '100 Percent Beefy' (oh GOD) just LYING AROUND their shared room- and the way he always re-threads Iruka's machine with different colours when he's not looking- it is enough to make Iruka murderous. Although… when he chuckles low and fast and Iruka can actually SEE a smile twisting that infuriating mask, that MIGHT be the slightest bit adorable. And when he shows Iruka pictures of his pug, whom he had to leave behind to come to New York, and of the kids he works with as a Big Brother, MAYBE Iruka's heart softens just a little. MAYBE. But only a little bit.

*

"Can I just tell you? I CANNOT stand that man. He thinks he's so awesome and mysterious. There is NO WAY we are going to get along, I can't believe they stuck me in the same room as him and his PORN. I hope he goes home SOON."

"The cute little guy with the scar? Iruka. Oh, man. He's so much fun to mess with. He lights up like a Christmas tree, embarrassed, angry, whatever. Whoosh! Blush. I hope he stays around for a while."

****

Six weeks in, and he is in the bottom three. He cannot believe it, cannot BELIEVE Kialay's god-awful sequined orange monstrosity was not only PRAISED but WON, what was THAT, while he is stuck sweating and freaking out, next to D'dree and OF ALL PEOPLE Kakashi. He is damn proud of his own work, thought it is a crime that the judges do not agree, but KAKASHI is up here with him, what does THAT say? Kashi's beautiful aqua silk mess looked like water flowing down the runway, until the girl turned and FREAKING _LIGHTNING_ had flashed down the front of it. As she spun the silk whirled around her like storm clouds and the lightning had flickered in and out as the studio lights hit it. It was like watching a heat storm on a summer night, it was UNBELIEVABLY beautiful, and yet Kakashi is standing up here, with him, waiting for the axe to fall, frowning slightly under the ever-present mask. Iruka barely hears his own name, followed by "Safe," over the buzzing of his blood, but manages a quick "Thank you" and stumbles back into the waiting room, to congratulations and hugs, but he isn't paying any attention. He is watching the door, like a hawk, and when it swings open and it's that infuriating BASTARD, he can't help but push past the cameraman and throw his arms around him and mumble "oh thank god."

*

"I dunno, I really hated the winning piece. UGH. Sometimes I do not get the judge's decisions. I just really feel like they screwed Kakashi over, you know? His was just, WOW. I mean, HOW does that not win? HOW does that get a low score? I might hate the guy, but c'mon…"

"Maa, whatever. It's cool. I mean, I understand, but _I_ know that I did good work. It just, it didn't click with them, I guess. I feel bad for Iruka, he looked like he was ready to punch someone…"

****

There are only four of them left, and Iruka can still hardly believe he's come this far. Still, one of them is going home tonight, while the other three go on to the finale, and Iruka just KNOWS he's not in their league. He's been in the bottom three twice again since that first horrible time, although PERFECT Kakashi has not. Kialay's a given, although he DOES NOT understand WHAT the judges see in her horrible trashy rags. Andy makes nice, understated, clean things, and his arch-nemesis Kakashi is a GENIUS and everything he makes is fucking MAGICAL and Iruka knows he can't compete. They sent the four of them into the greenroom while they 'deliberate,' although Iruka secretly believes they're just letting the camera guy get plenty of footage of them freaking out.

*

"Do I feel like I deserve to win? Are you serious? I'm proud of what I do, I think I'm GOOD at what I do, but these guys are just so much… they're on a different level, you know? I'm probably going home. I understand. I'm just thrilled I made it so far."

"Of course I'm in. I'm not worried about that. Kialay designs for whores, so, it could be her, Andy is about as interesting as oatmeal. Plain oatmeal, without even any sugar. Iruka's the only one I'm competing against, and I want to see his line. He's pretty insecure, I know he's flipping out right now, but he'll be fine. He's my rival, he pushes me. He'll make it."

*

They're summoned back from the greenroom, told to come back to the stage, and although Iruka keeps telling himself that he's resigned to his fate, that he KNOWS he'll be the one packing up his workstation, his idiot heart keeps welling up with HOPE. He's feeling lightheaded and KNOWS he's on the verge of a panic attack when he feels a hand slide into his, squeezing gently. He looks blankly at Kakashi's oversized leather cuff, and thinks for the thousandth time that the man is just such a HIPSTER ASSHOLE and he hates him, really he does, when he feels fingers under his chin and then lips against his own.

WHAT.

Except, it's really nice, and it kind of makes sense, and he realizes in a flash as the silver-haired man pulls the mask back up and pushes him out onstage that he's been actively HATING Kakashi for so long that he never even realized that he REALLY, REALLY LIKES HIM. And apparently Kakashi likes him in return, and this is such a WONDERFUL THING to happen, just when he was expecting the crushing disappointment of being sent home, that when the judges tell him he's going to Fashion Week, it almost doesn't register. But is DOES register when Kakashi leans close and whispers, "Three months with no cameramen. So. What are you doing tonight?"

*

"I'm so excited... I'm still just in shock. Uh. I… guess it'll be a busy couple of months, you know? Heh…"

"I'm thrilled. I think I've really learned a lot here, I've gained some wonderful things that I hope I can keep with me for the rest of my life... Yeah. So- I'll see you at Bryant Park!"

FIN.

So, did you guess the crossover? Drop me a line and let me know what you thought... i feel like this could be the starting point of a longer, more in-depth, less in-Iruka's-head sort of AU story, if anyone was interested?


End file.
